I, Him, Lost, Found and in love

Well this is a story about a being lost, being found and found what you really want.

I was half way asleep in my class while Ms. Rojas explained the class to others; I was half way asleep because it did not interested me, I was lost thinking what was I missing, what was I missing? I didn’t knew ‘cause I had everything I could need, so I thought It wasn’t something I need, I wanted something but I couldn’t realize what was it, suddenly a smashed in my notebook woke me up, it was Ms. Rojas the one who smashed her hand in my notebook in attempt to woke me up and the bitch was looking me like hell in her eyes, he shout me to leave the classroom so I quickly grab the notebook that was under her hand making her slip and hitting her on the front with the table, I couldn’t really watched that ‘cause I was leaving the classroom as that funny story happened, someone else told me that, actually it was Pier, I had never talked to her before that, when the class was over she search for me, I was easy to spot because I was in front of the class just somehow under a tree, lying there watching the clouds pass by and thinking what was I missing, because I needed, no I wanted something but I could not realize what was it, and then she appeared in my eyes like an assassin in your house (which means I hadn’t coming) I scared for a moment, well she was too near from me so I freaked out, I told her – what the fuck? She told me that she had liked the way I made Rojas slip, she saw my face of what the fuck are you just telling me, I did what? So she explained everything to me, while I was laughing I could not stop thinking the previous questions I had, but I was talking to someone, that made me happy but that wasn’t what I was looking for, not the exact but near, when I realized that I was one step to stop my search I became silent, I grab my things and left running without telling anything to Pier.

When I stopped running I was in front of a house, the house brought me back so much memories that I would had like to understand, everything in my memories was the interior of the house, me and a shadow, while I was passing by the halls in that house more and more memories came back but in those there still were a shadow, a shadow with no name, no face, but something was cleared that shadow made me happy, what I was missing was that shadow, but why didn’t it had a face? Was it something I didn’t wanted to remember? I didn’t knew the answer in that moment but I kept on going every day after school, I wanted to see it face to know its name, but I didn’t it no maters how long I stayed or how many days I visited the house, the face was a shadow. Pier kept trying to reach me, I talked to her but with no reasons sometimes I ignored her, she told me things in her life but I never answer back I never told her anything of my personal life that wasn’t related to school, maybe I should have told her about the house, but being there made me feel good and I didn’t wanted to be ruined by sharing it, so I just kept my secret until one day Pier followed me to the house, I didn’t knew she was doing it until I heard some stepping in the hard wood floor, when I turned back I saw her, I got angry to saw her so I pushed her out of the house and yelled her to leave me alone and not talking to me again, she answered –you know why you come here? It’s because you loved him, my eyes went to shock mode, did she knew the shadow in my memories? She kept on saying –you loved him very much and he loved you back!, my eyes went wider than ever, I jumped next to her and ask her what does that mean? What was she talking about? Who do I love? Who loved me? She just change her face to a What? face, when I stopped yelling I was reduced to tears but while that his face appeared in my memories, I knew who he was, I remember him, his name, his face, his beautiful face, almost round, white, with those thin red lips of his, his beard from his hair to his chin surrounding the lips I would like to be kissing right now, his big and round eyes, with that lack of anomalies, his smooth skin touching mine, that was his face, I was again reduced to tears not all because of him, also because how could I forgotten him, how could I had forgotten my boyfriend?, I did not knew how this could had happened to me, I remember he was talking away from me when his parents knew he was a homosexual, how his parents send him away to an internship and they moving to another city to save their reputation, I did not knew what school was he in now, but Pier took me by my arms and told me that she knew where he was, I felt so many things in that moment but the most present was determination.